Dealing with Toxic Relationships, Emotional Rollercoasters and Self-Respect

"I wrote this to let you know that you’re not alone during troubling times."

Dealing+with+Toxic+Relationships%2C+Emotional+Rollercoasters+and+Self-Respect

PEXELS

By Layla Williams, Staff Writer

I’ve decided to change things up a bit. 

I was planning to write about how the coronavirus killed the Chinese whistleblower Dr. Li Wenliang but my mind is focused on other things. I decided to take Mr. Goins’s and Mr. Stell’s advice to express myself by speaking to the youth and whoever is listening because we may be experiencing the same thing. 

I’m going to start off with being alone. 

I’m having a hard time teaching myself this but yes, it is perfectly normal to be alone. It may not seem like it at first but I promise that after a while you will adjust. You’ll become comfortable with being alone and being without the person you thought you couldn’t live without. Sometimes, isolating yourself is better because that person might be draining you. 

Toxic is the new trend in my generation and I hate it. They’ve normalized toxic as “cool” and “cute.” Can you believe that we have people on the internet portraying themselves as toxic because they see tweets and posts about it?

Most of the people who claim that they are “toxic” for laughs and retweets haven’t experienced a toxic situation before. 

In my eyes, a toxic relationship is worse than a toxic friendship because you’ve become emotionally and romantically attached to that person. We are so young and naive that we confuse love with lust. If you’ve experienced real love before you know exactly what it should feel like and how you should be treated. Nowadays, we choose to deal with anything a toxic person throws at us out of fear of losing their “love” or presence. 

That is not love, it’s toxicity.

Stop settling and find love that is genuine.

We allow that person to break us down into a million pieces until we can’t take it anymore. And just when you’ve thought you’ve had enough, you end up right back with them at square one and the cycle repeats. Stop allowing them to take advantage of you. Sometimes the saddest part about the toxic relationship cycle is the other person is unaware of what they are doing to you. Prioritize yourself because at the end of the day you’re the person who has to deal with the pain that they cause.

Realize they won’t change. 

Once somebody has shown you their true character and the kind of person they are, come to terms with the fact that they aren’t going to change because your feelings are hurt. Going back to them will only prolong your healing process, causing you to go through and feel every emotion over and over again until you’ve normalized it.

When they want you but refuse to treat you right, it’s toxic. Most of us fail to recognize our self worth. To all the boys and girls out there–even you adults–please learn and acknowledge your self worth. 

Learn to know and accept when you are hurt. 

This is another thing I am learning to practice with myself. I pretend I’m okay when I know I’m not or I hold things in when I know I should talk about it. Denying when you’re hurt will never allow you to move on or properly deal with the situation. You have to get through it and feel every emotion, even if it feels like it’s eating you up. This is all part of the healing process. 

You may feel like your life is in shambles but in reality, the pain makes you stronger after you’ve dealt with it. Remember you won’t feel like this forever and once you’ve healed you’ll look back at that person in total disgust. 

Accept things for what they are. 

There are things you can’t change and control but they’re like that for a reason. Just go with the flow. If we can’t find the answers, chances are the question is meant to be left unanswered. 

Never chase someone. 

If they left you don’t feel like you lost them because they lost you. Let them realize their loss even then, don’t allow that person back in your life. Backtracking puts you in the same situation that you just were struggling to get out of. 

People are gullible and tend to follow the trend instead of forming an opinion of their own. On social media, girls tweet that every man is going to cheat which is not true at all. Women cheat too so to my male readers, there are women who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. If someone loves you they won’t have it in their heart to cheat or do things to hurt you. It all comes back to recognizing your worth.

I walk around with my headphones on looking “mean” but I’m a genuine person who has been through a lot by myself and if you find yourself feeling hopeless, know you can talk to me. 

I wrote this to let you know that you’re not alone during troubling times. In hopes of motivating others, as well as myself, to realize that tough times won’t last forever and life does go on.

Value yourself and protect your energy and heart at all times. 

Most importantly, learn to love yourself before choosing to love someone else because you can’t expect to be cared for and respected by others if you don’t care or respect yourself.