I would never date a guy who asks me out through a text. 

But unfortunately, curating connections for likes and comparing relationships online has become the norm of our generation. 

Falling in love through late-night phone calls, handwritten letters and the thrill of wondering when you’ll see each other again are now rituals of the past. Likes, comments and DMs have replaced these once common gestures. Instead of nurturing deep emotional connections, couples have become tangled in a web of online validation, jealousy and unrealistic expectations. 

Social media has turned relationships into a performance. Couples feel pressured to flaunt their love through perfectly curated posts, romantic getaways and anniversary tributes that seem to cater more to their followers than to each other. 

Relationships are meant to be special connections shared between two people. When romantic gestures begin to woo followers more than partners, the special quality of romance loses its identity.  

Real love isn’t built on highlight reels. The more we prioritize public validation, the less we invest in the private moments that truly matter. 

Additionally, the idealized lives that we see on our screens take away from in-person experiences. Of course, texting and calling aren’t inherently bad—they can be a great means of connection across long distances and a source of laughter brought on by memes or funny tiktoks. However, these perks can become harmful when they replace face-to-face interaction. Online communication is wonderful, but it pales in comparison to being with your partner in the flesh. This is how truly deep connections form, not through a screen. 

Even worse, social media is always accompanied by the disease of comparison. Scrolling through Instagram makes it easy to believe that everyone else’s relationships are more romantic, exciting and effortless than yours. Your partner’s sweet but simple “good morning” text suddenly feels inadequate compared to the couple who got engaged in Paris on your feed. 

Before you know it, you’re resenting your relationship for not looking like a Nicholas Sparks movie. 

Social media breeds trust issues. A harmless like on someone’s photo can spiral into a full-blown argument. The constant exposure to other people’s online interactions makes it easier to question, doubt and even snoop. 

Some might argue that social media strengthens relationships by allowing couples to stay connected across distances, share their love and even find each other in the first place. 

While these arguments are valid, they fail to address the full picture. Long-distance couples rely on social media to maintain intimacy. Publicly celebrating your partner can make them feel appreciated, and the occasional TikTok trend can add some fun to a relationship. Even so, problems arise when social media becomes the main way a relationship functions rather than a supplement. 

This doesn’t mean that we should delete all of our social accounts. The key is to use social media wisely. 

Love isn’t measured in posts or public gestures. It’s built through trust, communication and time spent together. Social media should enhance these relationships rather than replacing genuine connections. 

Love isn’t found in the perfect selfie or the number of heart emojis under your anniversary post. It’s in the laughter, the late-night talks and the moments no one else sees. Shifting our attention back to these gestures can mean saving relationships from falling into the clutches of social media.

Everytime you scroll through Instagram and feel envy creeping in for that perfect couple, you are taking away from the special connection you already have. 

Be present in your own love story—don’t watch someone else’s. 

This article originally appeared in the Summer 2025 print edition.