It was casual

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“Was it casual when…” 

Yes, it was—you’re just delusional. 

Many young adults today find themselves questioning the boundaries of “casual relationships”, sometimes feeling uncertain about their own interpretations.

A dating pool filled with confusion and a lack of commitment has tainted how society views romance, causing individuals to question the integrity of the people they’re talking to.

Ideally, everyone would be able to communicate emotions effectively, coming a step closer to building meaningful relationships — platonic or romantic. It’s obvious that nowadays this isn’t the case, as an abundance of people are unable to define what stage or label their relationship holds—coining the term “situationship.”

Susan Albers, a psychologist for Cleveland Clinic, explained her take on what the purpose of a situationship is.

“Situationships contain the love and romance of a traditional relationship,” she said. “Where they differ is that they do not contain traditional labels such as boyfriend, girlfriend. They have less obligations and are often not in a committed relationship.”

The issue of situationships stems from a lack of communication.

“I think very few people our age can make it to the relationship level because girls and boys lack clear communication skills,” Joselin Gonzalez, a junior who’s offered advice to her friends, said. “From hearing countless rants from friends about the guys they’re talking to, it’s always clear to me what’s wrong, and it’s constantly the lack of communication.”

Beyond communication, many people struggle to acknowledge when they’re being misled in relationships.

“Situationships shouldn’t even be a thing,” Gonzalez explained. “The idea is overwhelming, dumb and unfulfilling. I think you either want to be with someone or you don’t. There’s no reason to have a complicated talking stage at an age where you’re already dealing with so much.”  

Couples aren’t safe either, though. Plastered with examples of unfaithfulness and discourtesy aimed at their partner, TikTok has unintentionally promoted the concept of cheating and disloyalty.

As many creators share tips and tricks on how to efficiently cheat on a partner, younger generations have become susceptible to engaging in this behavior, leading to its normalization. 

Well-versed in the world of TikTok, Elle Sinio shared her opinion about the content the app pushes regarding dating. 

“I think that nowadays TikTok has romanticized toxic and unhealthy relationships,” she said. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve scrolled on TikTok and seen videos of people bragging about cheating or seeing multiple people at once. Something about it is just really unsettling.”

Similar to TikTok, many musical artists tend to promote unhealthy relationships and sexual encounters, making it difficult to escape this negative portrayal of how people should be treated. 

Songs like the Ice Spice and Central Cee collaboration, ‘Did it First’, Ariana Grande’s ‘One Last Time’ or John Legend’s ‘She Don’t Have To Know’, all explore the topic of infidelity from the perspective of the artist being the unloyal one in the relationship.  

“A lot of different artists like to push their idea of a ‘healthy relationship,’” Sinio said. “One artist may be promoting a healthy, committed relationship through their music, while another may be promoting a toxic and cheating-driven relationship and romanticizing it as healthy and cool. It depends on the artist you listen to.”

Because so many songs lack representation of what affection towards a partner should look like, some have felt as though older music better represents what relationships should display.

“I strongly believe that older music represents love better,” sophomore Chanel Freeman said. “In most love songs from the past, you can hear the deep love and affection they held for whoever they sang to. Our generation rarely decides to create love songs, and when they do, they’re very lust-motivated.”

As young adults navigate the complexities of modern relationships, it becomes essential to prioritize clear communication and genuine connection. By critically evaluating the influences of media and fostering open dialogues, individuals can redefine their expectations and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 

Embracing these changes may empower a generation to create meaningful connections that withstand the pressures of contemporary dating culture.

This article originally appeared in the Fall 2024 print edition.